Random lists

(A few of) 20 Ways to Not Lose Your Soul in Isla Vista:

1. Wear clothes (and no, just wearing a pair of wings and saying you are an angel does not count)
2. Just stay drunk and numb yourself to the grime around you
3. Remember that there are people older and younger than us in this world
4. Remember that we do not live in “Never Never Land”
5. Remember that you do not really know the person whose party you were at last night
6. Remember that germs are spread when you drink from a random cup of beer previously used in a beer pong game

(A few) Bad Pickup Lines:

1. “Have I seen you at Hillel?” followed by “Are you sure?” (Especially when the “askee” has definitely never been to Hillel).
2. “Party at my place. And in my pants.”
3. The simple “You’re hot. Party at my place tonight.”

(A few of) 25 overheard conversations:

1. “Why did he break up with me? Did she give better head than I did?” “No.”
2. “Does the professor kind of remind you of Jesus?” “Yeah. A hot Jesus.” “What would Jesus do?”

(A few) Best Things to say when tour groups are near:

1. “The food at the dining commons sucks. I think it’s going to kill me.”
2. “These classes are so stressful I wish I’d never gone to college.”
3. “A random drunk guy broke into my room last night at three a.m.”
4. “Why doesn’t he love me anymore? Was the sex that bad?”
5. “I’m so happy I chose UCSB. University of Casual Sex and Beer, baby!”
6. “I can’t go to class today. I have a huge hangover.”

(A few of) 20 Misconceptions about CCS:

1. You can create your own major
2. The building will be redone
3. Only “arty” majors exist in CCS (apparently, people do not think we have majors in Biology, Chemistry, Math, Physics, and Computer Science).
4. All CCS students are insane
5. CCS students spend all their free time getting high
6. Those who have majors in CCS are way more intelligent than their L&S counterparts OR
7. vice versa

How Not to Lose your Soul in Isla Vista – 50 words or less:

Do not stay sober. If you are drunk, you will be less discouraged by the grotesque mess that constitutes the IV streets, the loose morals of its denizens, and the fog cloud that seems to hang only in Isla Vista while the rest of Goleta is sunny.