On a train from IV

I wrote the following on the train ride up North, and I thought I was being petty and weird so I didn't show it to anyone until yesterday when I read it in class. It probably sounds better being read out loud in a hyper sarcastic tone, but they liked it so here it is:

The family sitting across from me have returned from dinner; Mom and Dad carrying a half empty bottle of red wine and a couple of half filled glasses, which is a good balance of optimism and pessimism I think. Mom has a drunk laugh.

Some guy was seated next to me early in the day. He's traveling with what I'm guessing are his golf buddies. He put his stuff down by the seat next to me and then informed me that he wouldn't be sitting there.
"Nothin' personal," was what he said.
Something about the way he said it makes me think I know things about him, like I have some insight into his character, even though it's likely bullshit. I get the sense that he's unmarried, or if he's married, he does most of the talking. He doesn't receive anything more than polite compliments from women, he only really receives them from men, and just the men from his own group of friends. This has never occurred to him as unusual. His group structure seems like a common male social dynamic, where the cheering/egging on/pumping up of friends can guide most of someone's actions if they secretly have no self confidence. (kind of a "You're not gonna get him get away with that are ya chief?" spirit)
The fact that he thought he had to reassure me is telling I think. Is it because he assumes that all women depend on offhand compliments from strange men to feel adequate and when there lies the threat that one won't receive any or worse, may interpret their actions as an insult or slight to their comeliness and/or chances for marriage that he must allay any woman's fears lest she be broken hearted and disillusioned with men forever? Oh thank you for telling me it wasn't personal, I might have thought your choice to deprive me of one more moment of your Herculean (albeit, antiquated) physique, heroically gird with your periwinkle Lands End sweater draped over your polo shirt clad frame was possibly a result of my hair, or my face or possibly in your infinite wisdom you had sniffed out that my chances of bearing you healthy young were inadequate! Thank you sir, THANK GOD.

So they disappeared and someone else was seated next to me. She's a student, my age and going to Davis en route to Woodland. She's been quite pleasant to talk to, but she left after a while for the lounge car to do some homework, and Mr. Lacoste returned from the depths and sat down next to me. I told him that the seat was taken, which I shouldn't have had to do considering all her stuff was there and his legs were bumping against everything. He stared ahead for a moment, and then slowly looked back at me.
"Why?"
Which is an odd question to ask when someone hears that their seat is taken. I chalked the dazed expression and slow reaction time to a half empty/half full bottle of wine somewhere.
"Because she was seated here."
"Wha?"
"Someone seated her here."
This did not seem to properly register, so his friends chimed in,
"You did say that you didn't want to sit there." They thought it was amusing to see their friend getting kicked out by some coed. He got up, moving slowly and with not a little indignation.

Mr. Lacoste and the Polo Boys got out at Salinas.

The Last White

Erin Johnson 4/15/07

“Albi” Photos Spark Heated Debate

“It’s disgusting, she’s standing there in her bikini holding him up like a trophy.”

“Who?”

“Albi. Check out the memorial page, it’s really sick.”

It’s true that “RIP Great White: An Albino IV Legend,” the memorial page for “Albi, the albino raccoon has taken on a decidedly tawdry tone of late. Many students were shocked and saddened by the front article of the Nexus announcing the legendary death of the animal earlier this week. “Albi” the albino raccoon or “Great White,” has long been an institution of Isla Vista. His career consisted mainly of confusing visitors and scaring drunken residents stumbling home from parties late at night. It seems an “Albi” sighting has become a facet of initiation into IV life, and stories of him are often coupled with student’ memories of some their wilder nights.

The main news flying around the halls these days is of the some three or four photos of an unidentified female “disposing” of the legend’s remains. The photo, posted on the Facebook memorial page, depicts a girl going in for a kiss on the deceased legend’s nose, and has sparked a page long line of posts along the lines of “Have respect for the dead” and “What the f*** do you think you’re doing.” The site administrator has refused to remove the photos saying that the woman pictured was drunk and “being a responsible pet owner,” since it was her dog that did the raccoon in. He then went on to blast reactionists for having not being able to take a joke. “Get a sense of humor or get out of IV.” He snarks at the end of his paragraph long tirade.

Yet more controversy has arisen due to the posts made by another Isla Vistan who claims his turtle was killed by Albi. “That racoon is not resting in peace, it’s resting in hell.” He crows. He then goes on to extol the virtues of Cody, the now infamous dog which brought Albi low. The site creator, Andrew Volkert, posted several pictures of his dog Cody on the page, as well as a somewhat one sided description the epic battle which ended the legendary raccoon’s life. As in the case of any great icon “some will mourn others will cheer,” hope, however, springs eternal in the human breast. And in true iconic fashion the most recent posts describe several albino raccoon sightings in the past weeks leading many people to excitedly state that “He’s not dead!” Others claim it is “the ghost of the Great White.” The less paranormally inclined excitedly chalk it up to the possibility of an entire family of Albino racoons in the area. Albi’s legacy most definitely lives on in more ways than one.

The ten best things to eat in Santa Barbara

A bowl of scrambled eggs and potatoes at the dining commons early in the morning when you’ve been working on a paper all night, and your friend sits down next to you – and you jump because you weren’t expecting anyone else to be awake, and you both laugh.

A cookiewich from the I.V. Drip, shared with a friend who let you pick the cookies and ice cream, and while you’re eating outside, a guy walking by says to his friends, “They know what’s up! Cookiewiches! Yeah!”

A bite stolen from the toasted bagel with cream cheese that you’re making for your boyfriend for breakfast in the afternoon at his apartment.

The bran muffins from Nicoletti’s after 9 pm because they’re 90 cents each and tasty and possibly healthy, and you’re hungry because you forgot to eat dinner and can’t stand going to late night at DLG again.

Half a bag of vegan chocolate-and-peanut-butter cookies bought from the IV food co-op, which you eat on the swings in the park on the afternoon of a bad day, and you almost give yourself a stomachache from too many cookies, but you feel better than you did before.

A tofu-ginger salad at the Sojourner Café, a mostly-vegetarian restaurant where your carnivorous friend has taken you, when you’re not sure whether he means it as a date until he kisses you afterward.

The rest of a bag of bulk candy bought impulsively from the UCen Corner Store that you offered to the prospective student who wandered into the CCS Computer Science computer lab, hoping that this leaves a good impression of CCS students on him.

A pizza full of cheese and broccoli and pesto from Woodstock’s at one in the morning, when there is no other good food available that your boyfriend likes – he disdains burritos in favor of piles of pineapple and Canadian bacon.

A veggie burger from Fresco in the La Cumbre plaza, anytime, because it is just that good.

The appetizer tapenade and bread at a restaurant that’s too expensive but you went to it anyway because you’ve been to all of downtown’s reasonably-priced restaurants far too many times.

What is Isla Vista?

In Spanish, Isla Vista means “Island View.” To outsiders, it means skimpy outfits, warm natural light beer, and the biggest party of the year: Halloween. But to residents, Isla Vista means home. It is an extension of UCSB lecture halls including both I.V. Theatre and Embarcadero Hall. It is a collection of local shops and establishments, including food ranging from Little Asia to Woodstock’s pizza to Naan Stop and Freebirds. More than anything, Isla Vista is a contrast between parks so quiet you can hear your ipod playing from the headphones you left on the bench and parties so loud that everyone’s conversations blend into a collection of Dionysian drunkenness and childlike laughter.

Isla Vista is a mix between alternative kids hanging out at Java Jones and antsy kids waiting to get out of their lecture hall so they can get their favorite butter and cinnamon “Sex on a Bagel” special from The Bagel Shop. I.V. is a bit of a time warp; bikes are the primary form of transportation, bad 70’s and 80’s music blasts outside of Sam’s to Go and Blenders, and everyone seems to be happy. Homeless people in other cities are hooked on meth, ours are hooked on smiling and telling stories from their past. Competition here seems to be limited to the sign outside of I.V. bakery advertising for the cheapest sandwich. In one of the nicest towns on the West Coast with the unbeatable weather, lies a small park outside of Embarcadero Hall with a small windmill and a little lake for ducks. If you’re sitting on the mound enjoying your smoothie, a duck might approach you, not out of curiosity, but want of that leftover honey wheat roll from Silvergreens- the only place I know of that gives nutrition information of the food you order on your receipt.

Then there’s the not so quiet side of I.V. Topless boys on balconies yelling down to the tan skinny girls. Groups of Frat Boys running into the Keg Bottle market which seems to have the largest collection of liquor in the world. There’s the time a mad woman outside of Isla Vista theatre shouted “I am the Queen of England’s daughter” to a crowd of spectators. Then there’s the Sports “Nutrition” store for “fat loss, muscle gain, and general health.” They used to have an Ephedra Before It Sells Out (or becomes illegal) sign outside of their door. Isla Vista: in a town entirely run by twenty-year olds, what else can you expect?

Shrek the Third review: Even Ogres Have Some Growing Pains

Shrek’s going through a mid-life crisis. What’s an ogre to do?

Shrek the Third tries to answer that question, addressing issues of fatherhood, friendship, and accepting ourselves for who we are [insert “aww” sound here].

After Shrek’s (Mike Meyers) froggie father in law (John Cleese) passes away, Shrek must be king of Far Far Away; that is, unless he can find Fiona’s (Cameron Diaz) cousin Artie (Justin Timberlake), and persuade him to take the crown.

Shrek, accompanied by pals Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) sails into the sunset, determined to coerce Artie into becoming king. Yet as Shrek is departing, Fiona shouts from the pier that she is pregnant. As Shrek quickly attempts to come to terms with his soon to be fatherhood, Puss comforts him and says, “You are royally [sounds of blaring fog horn].”

Now far far away from Far Far Away, Shrek and company land in high school Hell as they search for Artie, a teen so nerdy even the nerds pick on him. As Shrek leads rebellious Artie to Far Far Away, the two learn from each other [tear]. Artie learns from Shrek that, strangely enough, it is okay to be different. And Shrek learns Parenting Skills 101 from his fast-growing relationship with Artie.

Meanwhile, in Far Far Away, the evil Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) leads a gang of evildoers, ranging from Captain Hook to the Headless Horseman, in a mutiny against the current do-gooders who rule the kingdom. Fiona must enlist the help of girlfriends Snow White (Amy Poehler), Cinderella (Amy Sedaris), Sleeping Beauty (Cheri Oteri), and Rapunzel (Maya Rudolph) to thwart Charming’s plans of a royal takeover.

Will Artie become king, or is Far Far Away doomed in the hands of Charming and his villainous crew? Even more important, will the audience be able to swallow this relatively thin storyline and huge serving of good morals

Yes. As didactic as this film seems to be, it’s also a lot of fun.

True, it doesn’t have that same “freshness” of the original Shrek. True, some of the jokes become a little old. True, Artie make us realize that Justin Timberlake’s voice is oddly feminine.

Yet the majority of the movie is filled with a lot of laughs, some of which (hopefully) only adults can appreciate (yay for dumb Hooters references in a kiddie kingdom), and even some good ole’ message of girl power that I haven’t seen since the Spice Girls (may they rest in peace).

Shrek the Third is what it is, with hopes of aiming to please its built in audience base with stupid – and not so stupid – laughs…and what better reason to go to the movies than that?

Q & A: English versus Literature Students

What do you think of the L&S English Department versus the CCS Literature Department? There were a few reasons why I chose to pose this question to English and Literature majors. Here are a few examples:

Example One: While studying in the L&S Honors Center, performing arts students were outside, waging a fake protest against the alphabet. An English major, also in the honors center, became quite aggravated… “Damn CCS Literature students, protesting grades!”

Example Two: During dinner with a Literature major, he stated, “I’m not saying that CCS Literature is better. All I’m saying is that if CCS sold shirts that said ‘I chose Literature because English wasn’t good enough,’ I’d buy it.”

Example Three: As I was tutoring a girl, she was shocked to learn I was a CCS Literature major as well as an L&S Film and Media Studies major – “Besides you, I’ve never talked to a CCS student, and I’ve hardly see them. Whenever I pass by the CCS building, there are students on the grass. Or at lunch, I’ll see someone eating alone, and I think he must be in CCS. Maybe it’s because you’re in both colleges…maybe that’s why you’re different.”

All in all, what some may think of CCS Literature students from these three examples are as follows: We are strange, pompous unicorns who like to lie in the grass.

There seems to be a feud between English and Literature students…one can only hope that someday, the twain shall meet…

What do you think of the L&S English Department versus the CCS Literature Department?

Irene Ward, L&S Art History Major and English Major (3^rd year)

I kind of thought that English students were more analytical and boring and CCS students were more creative and open-minded. English doesn’t have that same passion. It’s not that English students don’t care, but it’s not the same. I think CCS has a lot of perks as a smaller college.

Pamela Capalad, CCS Literature Major (4^th year)

I have to think about [it]…I’ve wondered about that myself. CCS Lit. kids are definitely weirder.

Annie Sterling, L&S Global Studies Major and English Major (4^th year)

CCS students seem more creative. They have a lot more freedom in how they formulate their essays. I think there’s a lot of stereotypes, and it’s true about CCS students being more like “hippies.” But they also have the courage to pursue what they want. English is more about how to analyze and respond. CCS attracts different people.

Mana Mostatabi, CCS Literature Major (3^rd Year)

There are a lot more historical courses in the English Department, as opposed to CCS Lit., where we read books and transcribe them. In English classes, they pick novels that have a shared theme. In Lit. classes, we pick one author and read six of their books. In CCS, there’s little incentive to work harder than you’ll need to.

Ronnie Choi, L&S Film and Media Studies Major and English Major (3^rd year)

Hmm, I’m not really sure because I don’t know many CCS Literature students, but I do know for the L&S English Department, there seems to be a focus on the history of the works we read. Although our understanding of the plot is important also, we need to learn about the historical context, the cultural context, and the development of the author in regards to how he or she got to the point of writing the work we’re reading. Also, we focus on the purpose of the work. Like, why is it written? What purpose does it serve? And, usually, it’s not a simple answer of entertaining the masses. Perhaps, with CCS Literature students, they focus more on the student’s own life to develop creativity? I’m not really sure!

Tyler Vickers, CCS Literature Major (3^rd Year)

I wouldn’t say that there are necessarily any intellectual distinctions between both types of English student, and any sort of comparison I might draw between the two would be in danger of becoming a biased generality. That being said, I think that those students who are exposed to CCS curriculum experience a greater degree of freedom in the work that they choose to do as well as come in direct contact with their professors which, depending on the strengths of the professor, allow them to take more responsibility in their education and better prepare themselves for theoretical understanding as well as creative expression. This experience, in turn, occasionally gives them a practical and useful foundation for success and innovation when they attend a class in L&S English or in any other discipline.

Michael Pecchio, CCS Literature (5^th year)

Since I haven’t actually taken classes in the English Department, I can’t say. I don’t think I could’ve learned as much about creative writing, or editing one’s own writing, in the English Dept.

Elana Wenocur, CCS Literature (4^th year)

I found [CCS Literature] to be a very mixed bag.

Jonathan Forbes, L&S Spanish Major and English Major (4^th year)

My understanding of the differences between CCS Literature and English Majors is that while English Majors just study American or British literature, CCS students can take literature courses from various foreign-language departments on campus. Also, the courses in literature that the College of Creative Studies offers seems to include a wide variety: from American and British literature, to literature in translation, to creative writing courses. Lastly, while in the English Department students usually write analytical papers, some CCS classes and students allow for the option to do less conventional forms of writing: journals, projects, stories, etc. And I suppose the most obvious thing is that English majors’ diplomas say “English” and CCS majors’ say “Creative Studies.”

Barry Spacks – Interview

How long have you taught?

I started teaching in 1952, at Indiana University. So I’ve been teaching for 55 years.

In CCS specifically?

I was off from teaching for six years, studying Buddhism at a Buddhist center in northern California. I came back in ‘96, and I think I’ve been teaching here for about nine years.

What prompted you to teach in CCS?

First off, the vitality and intelligence of the students. That reputation follows them all over campus. I was asked to do a mini course first. I did a couple of those while I was mainly still teaching in English. So I got an immediate close up taste of that quality. I think it’s really true what CCS claims, that it offers an undergraduate education that has the style of a graduate school education, and one of the characteristics of that of course is that you come much closer to being a colleague with your students rather than a schoolmaster…I really like that. The last thing I want to be is some sort of great authority figure. I want to release energies, I think that’s what I’m there for. It’s possible in CCS to be in a room full of folks in which there’s no fear on the part of the student, “Oh, what grade am I going to get?” No kind of class difference between the professor and the students. We’re all readers together, writers together, strivers together.

What is the difference between the students in the English Department and the Literature Department?

I was teaching a lot of large lecture courses there [in the English Department] and that was part of what made me feel a little bit starved for the immediate action of close up contact with students. I used to go up and down the aisles with my lavaliere and microphone and tried to get folks to do a little bit of discussion even though there were 300 in the room, tried to loosen up the lecture format…Folks in L&S have been trained to listen a lot more than folks in CCS who have been trained to respond and to come out with their style. There is obviously much more of a formal discipline involved in the English-Lit classes…the emphasis is less on direct creativity and more on study.

What do you think CCS students should ultimately get out of their education with the department? What skills should they leave college with?

It seems to me that all education in the arts and humanities has to do with developing maturity. Students these days are concerned a lot more with the bottom line than they were in my days as an undergraduate. We kind of took for granted that the rest of our lives would go swimmingly. People don’t have that luxury anymore so one can’t say “Oh, they should just concentrate on their studies, this is the most wonderful four years in their lives” without worrying too much about how there’s a payoff. I think in CCS there’s still this sense that the payoff is going to be in terms of taking on powers, intellectual, emotional, and in effect the word maturity sums it up. What we should talk about is a general education, basically getting what the Greeks used to call a Paideia, the sense of things, the sense of the way a particular culture works. And that’s what I think CCS students should look forward to, is that sense of the general education.